taxes and music

The February newletter, Noiz, carried this musical note from me. A reader said to me, You sound like Obama. Then I read it again and figured it out.

Tax season is coming. Everything from Souderton to Caesar will take something from our personal account to strengthen the common life we live together. Why not a church music tax while we’re at it?

I’d slap a tax on every Sunday you miss church without good reason. And add a fiver for every unkind gripe you’ve aired this past fiscal year, and for every hymn you didn’t even try to sing.

Capital gains? Why not. If you benefited in your youth from a wonderful teacher or choir director or song leader, that’s capital gains you can enjoy the rest of your life. This nasty tax can be cancelled if you are passing along the same benefits you enjoyed to the next generations.

Now, deductions. This is church and there should be lots of grace to go around. If you sing in the choir or regularly belt out the hymns, take a deduction. You can take one for each time you said thank you to someone who put out musically for your benefit. Make that two deductions if that compliment went to a young person. Triple deduction if you give a bundle to the music program and say, “Let’er rip. Open all the stops. We cannot give something too good to God.”

I’d let you have deductions, too, for each time you went to Tuesday With God or a concert of Christian music. Popular, commercially successful concerts just get you a half deduction. Do the math, and expect a good musical year.